I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
