Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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