I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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