I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
