I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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