i don't like sucking hair
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
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I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
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I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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