Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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