I haven't been this sober since birth.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
