We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
