Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
