Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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