I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
