Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying