You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?