My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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