you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
