ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
