OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
