whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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