I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
