You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
