Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
