I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
