Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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