I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
