would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
