If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
