Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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