no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My penis needs a shock collar
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
