I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When are your genitals available?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
