dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
