I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
