I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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