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• (734): View more from Michigan

  i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  what was she crying about?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

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• (650): View more from California

  Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder

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• (760): View more from California

  fuck your aforementioned shoe

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?

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• (914): View more from New York

  I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.

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• (831): View more from California

  Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.

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