Texts From Last Night

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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.

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  (985): i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not. http://tfl.nu/eg76
  Replies (54) Good night (2920) Bad night (570)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.

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  (229): It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing. http://tfl.nu/o6in
  Replies (47) Good night (748) Bad night (5395)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot

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  (937): i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot http://tfl.nu/0845
  Replies (12) Good night (4024) Bad night (1017)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

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  (208): this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin" http://tfl.nu/odvv
  Replies (16) Good night (7698) Bad night (960)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.

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  (513): I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen. http://tfl.nu/9jnz
  Replies (19) Good night (5215) Bad night (905)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"

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  (602): At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin" http://tfl.nu/p2m1
  Replies (4) Good night (3837) Bad night (901)
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  (351): View more from Massachusetts

  the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.

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  (351): the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me. http://tfl.nu/s3y3
  Replies (5) Good night (4329) Bad night (1177)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on

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  (713): Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on http://tfl.nu/6fw7
  Replies (5) Good night (2569) Bad night (1431)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.

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  (727): Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today. http://tfl.nu/0xc9
  Replies (5) Good night (1475) Bad night (626)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?

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  (270): Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off? http://tfl.nu/sbu9
  Replies (19) Good night (574) Bad night (3537)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy

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  (651): I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy http://tfl.nu/d161
  Replies (18) Good night (2206) Bad night (803)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight

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  (602): I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight http://tfl.nu/yocu
  Replies (20) Good night (765) Bad night (4169)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.

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  (765): A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins. http://tfl.nu/d999
  Replies (12) Good night (734) Bad night (2491)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.

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  (731): Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze. http://tfl.nu/erxr
  Replies (1) Good night (2078) Bad night (451)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary

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  (502): to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary http://tfl.nu/qy10
  Replies (3) Good night (899) Bad night (323)

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