Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.

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  (201): My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms. http://tfl.nu/tth4
  Replies (6) Good night (704) Bad night (2749)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.

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  (201): my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums. http://tfl.nu/0487
  Replies (37) Good night (7420) Bad night (1618)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again

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  (610): ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again http://tfl.nu/ywr6
  Replies (11) Good night (4178) Bad night (704)
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  (323): View more from California

  may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.

  (818): View more from California

  First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.

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  (323): may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in. (818): First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/s5xw
  Replies (41) Good night (7752) Bad night (697)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark

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  (815): You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark http://tfl.nu/4we1
  Replies (56) Good night (6113) Bad night (799)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.

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  (215): If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from. http://tfl.nu/hl9i
  Replies (6) Good night (3483) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother

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  (240): It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother http://tfl.nu/obkn
  Replies (5) Good night (763) Bad night (2914)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.

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  (978): Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now. http://tfl.nu/sf6h
  Replies (4) Good night (910) Bad night (3099)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.

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  (870): may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween. http://tfl.nu/5k16
  Replies (5) Good night (3003) Bad night (852)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off

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  (314): Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off http://tfl.nu/sr25
  Replies (2) Good night (2158) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!

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  (217): He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP! http://tfl.nu/1t3i
  Replies (5) Good night (999) Bad night (3784)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.

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  (206): Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me. http://tfl.nu/pgvw
  Replies (8) Good night (1098) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.

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  (902): after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart. http://tfl.nu/tash
  Replies (4) Good night (815) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.

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  (215): I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames. http://tfl.nu/kido
  Replies (9) Good night (750) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy

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  (425): I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy http://tfl.nu/ow8c
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (300)

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