he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night