Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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