Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.