Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.

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  (650): Not a fireman, but good enough for last night. http://tfl.nu/537l
  Replies (2) Good night (929) Bad night (446)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

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  (704): I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/q6uf
  Replies (44) Good night (6382) Bad night (724)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up

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  (915): when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up http://tfl.nu/inqg
  Replies (23) Good night (3664) Bad night (1398)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.

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  (724): Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways. http://tfl.nu/hzks
  Replies (25) Good night (5135) Bad night (1623)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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  (248): i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid. http://tfl.nu/t711
  Replies (33) Good night (8798) Bad night (1093)
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  (585): View more from New York

  any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?

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  (585): any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later? http://tfl.nu/w8i3
  Replies (16) Good night (5854) Bad night (1001)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.

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  (610): His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here. http://tfl.nu/72ey
  Replies (13) Good night (2134) Bad night (1186)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.

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  (732): He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year. http://tfl.nu/lez5
  Replies (27) Good night (3098) Bad night (1195)
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  (818): View more from California

  we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.

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  (818): we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices. http://tfl.nu/8xc8
  Replies (9) Good night (2454) Bad night (744)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.

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  (705): Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over. http://tfl.nu/0oyy
  Replies (5) Good night (2096) Bad night (777)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.

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  (+44): I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday. http://tfl.nu/4in5
  Replies (6) Good night (709) Bad night (1372)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.

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  (928): Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment. http://tfl.nu/kmtk
  Replies (10) Good night (672) Bad night (1196)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer

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  (989): apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer http://tfl.nu/nnl1
  Replies (4) Good night (1026) Bad night (470)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.

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  (269): We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable. http://tfl.nu/14d9
  Replies (3) Good night (1514) Bad night (492)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag

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  (702): This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag http://tfl.nu/ygs4
  Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (249)

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