Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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