Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize