i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize