I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
