I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
