Fine. I'll sleep in my office
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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