Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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