I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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