omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
