before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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