We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
