Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize