woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
