Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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