I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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