This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
