Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
