She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
