I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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