the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
