omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
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one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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